burnoutx

st. patty s day

Sun, 18 Mar 2007 05:07:06 GMT

wooohoooo

i love being drunk and high on as many drugs as possible
i wish i could be like this 247

fuck, i'm fucked up

RIP

Tue, 27 Feb 2007 12:52:04 GMT

Rest In Peace Devin DeRosia, we will miss you!

Maurissa, hang in there!

late night boredom

Sat, 26 Aug 2006 07:27:13 GMT

Where to start..

School starts in 5 days and I've barely started my summer reading. I really don't want to go back to school. I just have no motivation to do any work.

Speaking of work, I finally started working at Red Onion. It's not that bad, I actually like it sometimes. Although I've been working all week and I'm tired of it. But I like working with Dan, Dave, Blaze, Justin, Jen, and Henry.

My boyfriend Dan, yea he's amazing. I'm in love with him and I'm quite certain about it. Now I know what real love is, and I'm so happy. The first time he said "I love you" was the night before my birthday out on the beach under the stars. It was really cute.

College. Ugh. I've been doing alot of research on colleges and there's just too many to choose from, it's so damn hard to find one I like a lot. All I know is I wanna be in the north east.

My relaxation in all this is my love for weed. It has grown so much =) haha, oh well. Speaking of which, I think I'm gonna go smoke a bowl.

Tue, 16 May 2006 00:28:08 GMT

It's been a while, so I thought I'd update a bit.

Well, I went to prom. I ended up bringing Connor and Kristine brought Derrick so that was fun. So many people were there from out of town who I'm friends with, so that was cool. Even though I had fun, I still wish I could have brought Dan as my date, but I already asked Connor and everything, oh well. The after party was sweet. We camped out in my backyard. It was me, Connor, Kristine, Derrick, Ashlee, Ryan, Bryn, Dan, Dave, and Jay, Jordan, Kim, Tom, Jacquie, and Jake stopped by. Ivan showed up with people I don't know, that was gay, but whatever. We got crunkkk, it was fun =)

I have a boyfriend now, Dan, and he's amazing. So much better than my stupid ex's. We've only been dating for a couple weeks, but it feels like so much longer. He's definitely the best thing to happen to me yet.

Oh yea, and back around April vacation, Mitchell decided to talk to me again and hang out. Yea, that was cool, not. He was all nice and shit like he used to be trying to get me again, but I didn't believe him. Then he fucking goes back out with Christina within two weeks, that's fucking gay. I don't care really because I have a much better boyfriend now, but still, he's stupid. Now he won't talk to me again because he's going back out with her. Haha, but Brandon said something in front of Mitch and Christina about Mitch hanging out with me when they broke up, it was great.

I've been partying a lot, and I love it. It's sooo bad, but I don't care.

Oh yea, I almost forgot about Florida! Rachel came with us, and it was freaking awesome. We brought weed down with us and smoked pretty much everyday, made things so much better. Then there was vodka left from last time so that was good too. Definitely a real good time =)

Okay, that sounds like a good update for now. And Jess, I know I always say this, but we really do have to hang out soon, I haven't seen you in foreverrrr.

Tue, 21 Mar 2006 23:22:17 GMT

Update time.

A couple weeks ago, Kristine, Bryn, and I went to Vermont and stayed with Ivan, Tom, Jay, Nick, Steve, Dan, and Paul. That was a gooooood fucking night. We all got pretty trashed except for Kristine and Bryn. Obviously Ivan and Kristine hooked up. I ended up hooking up with Paul. I kinda made Bryn hook up with Nick because I had them sleep in the same bed lol. Oh well, it was still so much fun. Except for that we only got an hour of sleep and had to drive home at like 7am.

I've been getting drunk pretty much every weekend. It's usually a good time. Meeting a lot more random people, including a lot of boys =)

Oh yea, prom. Still don't have a date. I want to go with Stevey, but Tom said he most likely won't want to go. So I'm just going to ask Connor because it would be fun. It's gonna be so freaking expensive though. Oh well, we don't have to do it next year.

So I have friday off from school. Jess, we should hang out thursday night or something.

ugh.

Wed, 15 Feb 2006 01:20:29 GMT

I decided to finally ask Danny to prom today. Went exactly how I thought. He said no. So now I have to find someone else, but I really have no idea who I want to go with. I'll probably ask Connor if I don't find anyone else because I honestly have no one else that I want to bring. I don't even want to bring Connor, but there's no one else who would come with me. Whatever, it's not that big of a deal I guess.

Oh yea, today's Valentine's Day and it sucked as usual. I never have anyone this time of the year. I hate it. I feel like depressed, and it's stupid. Maybe I'll just go to sleep early. Take a nice long shower and go to sleep. Screw homework.

I go for my license thursday. Yea I doubt I'll pass. I haven't drove since like Saturday. I suck at parking. I need to practice that.

Uggghhhhh. That's all I have to say.

oh boy.

Fri, 03 Feb 2006 01:22:04 GMT

It's now February. Want to know what's been on my mind for the past couple weeks? Prom. Sounds early, but our prom is April 29 at the Aquaturf (sp?). Most of my friends already have dates and stuff and I don't. I think I know what friends I'm going in the limo with, but that's not definite either. This requires wayy too much thinking.

There's too many choices for a date. Right now, I think I want to bring this kid Danny, from Ellington. I've only met him a couple times, but we're supposed to hang out this weekend. He's cute, and nice, and he drives. I think I like him. Kristine says that out of all my choices to bring to prom, he's her favorite for me to bring. So I think I'm just gonna hang out with him and see what happens.

Also, I still like that freshman, Shayne. But I rarely ever see him and when I call him to hang out, he's never home. So whatever, I think I'm done with him. Ben doesn't talk to me anymore. John's wayy too weird.

I guess that's all that's on my mind right now.

Jess, we should hang out real soon! =)

i'm a whore.

Tue, 24 Jan 2006 02:29:19 GMT

Is it bad that I had so much fun this weekend and pretty much acted like a whore?

Friday night, I went to this show thing in West Hartford with Kim, Molly, and Kim's cousin Kristen. It was pretty boring, but we made it fun. Went on a couple adventures to the gas station. Molly and I mooned people out the car window. We peed outside like the whole night, even though we could have used an actual bathroom. Then, Kristen and I ask this guy for cigarettes and then for alcohol. And he's like, "Do you think I'd come to this thing sober?" haha, so he gave us his alcohol. Made friends with him (Steve, who was 22), and his friends, Nancy (18), I wanna say his name was Joe (18) and Susanna (18). They were wicked cool. Yea, at the end, I almost hooked up with Steve, which probably would have been bad. It was a good night though with the drinking and being with friends and meeting people.

Saturday night was Juli's birthday party at this club thing in Ellington. It was soo much fun. Mostly everyone was drunk. I only had a beer and 2 shots of dubra. So I was only a little buzzed, but it made things more fun. Everyone danced like allllll night. I was grinding with all the guys that were dancing, which was Danny, Jeff, Josh, and Seb kinda. Haha, I got Steve to dance, that was funny. I love all my friends there in Ellington. Ernie was sooo drunk, he could not stand up at all. Bryn and Sarah were so cute, I love them. Dylan came high as a mother fucker. Then Seth drove me and Kristine home because I think Anthony left, plus he was way too cocked. What a fun night.

So yea, I definitely felt like a slut this weekend. But I have to admit, it was soo much fun!

it's the new year.

Wed, 11 Jan 2006 21:59:08 GMT

So yea, it's now 2006. Nothing much has changed in the past few months. But a lot has changed from last year.

It's been like, what, 11 days so far and already I've gotten drunk, gotten high, lied, have people hate me, failed in school, and didn't really stick to the whole quit smoking thing. It's already fucking crazy, and I'm not really sure if I like it.

Today in math class we (me, Angela, Ben, Allie, and Brittany) were talking about relationships and how fucked up they are. I thought about a lot of things. As much as I like Ben (from Coventry) there is no way it's gonna work out. I haven't seen him in like a month and I rarely ever talk to him. Already he's whipping out the "I love you" shit and I'm like no you don't, you've known me for not even two months. It just freaks me out and it pushes me away. The only other person who has said that to me, was a lying piece of shit, so I mean I don't really have reason to believe anyone, especially if it's only been two months. Then there's this kid, John, from Ellington. I'm not really that interested in him, but then again I've only met him like twice. Although, those two times we were both pretty wasted. It's weird. He definitely says that he likes me and stuff, it's just weird. I don't know what to do. Relating this back to math class, I was thinking about it, and the one thing I wish I could have, but know I never will, is to have a relationship with someone from South Windsor. As weird as it sounds, it would make things so much easier and it'd just be different. I've never dated anyone from my town or even hooked up with anyone from my town. It's just something I kinda wanted to happen.

Okay, enough of my rambling, I should go get some work done.

Fri, 02 Dec 2005 19:44:54 GMT

I really haven't updated in a while. I guess life just keeps moving on. I went snowboarding for the first time this season to Killington with Shane and his friends Ben, Joe, and Mike. It was so much fun. I can't wait to go again. Hopefully this weekend or next weekend.

I'm doing bad in school again. I just haven't been doing any work and it sucks. I'm just not motivated AT ALL. I know it's gonna come back and bite me in the ass.

Met a new boy I'm kind of interested in. He's so sweet. But again, he's from Coventry. I swear, it's like I'm not attracted to any guys outside of Coventry. It's kind of annoying in a way. Oh well, guess I'll just have to deal and just hope to meet someone from a different town.

Jess, we gotta hang out SOON! It's been wayyyy too long. Maybe we'll go boarding soon or actually go party it up like we were supposed to a while ago. =)

PLAYGROUND PALOOZA!!

Tue, 01 Nov 2005 04:09:16 GMT

Be There!

Playground Palooza: Including 8 local bands and a car show.
Saturday, November 19
5:00pm-10:00pm
@ SW Community Center
150 Nevers Road
tickets $5

Bands:
A Coastline Ending
The Morning After
The Monotones
Last In Line
Something Like Silence
Darby Dreamview
I Swear
Lack of Regard

&& It benefits the boundless playground! (all proceeds)

http://pictures.greatestjournal.com/userimg/5133872/572239

(sorry, I don't know how to put pictures on here so just click the link or something)

Sun, 23 Oct 2005 20:02:08 GMT

Since I'm grounded, I couldn't really go out this weekend. That pretty much sucked. But I still had a little fun.

Friday after guitar lessons, my mom and I went to the mall so I could look for a prom dress. Yes, I know it's early, but I was bored, and it was fun =]

Saturday, I went out to lunch with Allen and Brandon. That was fun. Brandon and I rode in his new car and had the first, and last, cigarette in it. Apparently, that night, his car died. And he just bought it Friday. That sucksss.

Tonight I'm going to Senses Fail, Early November, Saves the Day, and Emanuel concert. It should be funn, yet very interesting because of the people going. There's me, Allen, Brandon, Davey, Ashley, Chris, Ben, Dan, Ryan, Conor, Gary, Jeremiah, Alex, Mitchell, Christina, Brianna, and Michelle. Yea, half of those people hate me so it should be quite the interesting night. Buttt, I'm meeting Anthony and Monica there, so that should be good =]

Hopefully I can go out next weekend. Saturday night's Jordan's surprise party at Ashlee's. I wanna get crunkkk so badly man. I can't wait until I'm ungrounded so I can go out and partyyy like a rockstarrr =] Yeaaaa.

lately.

Wed, 19 Oct 2005 02:55:58 GMT

Well lately, things have been kinda getting better. But also getting worse at the same time. Not sure how that one works.

I really do think I'm over the stupid lying asshole now. But we're still kinda friends I guess? I don't know, but I don't think I want to see him anytime soon. Which kinda sucks because I'll be seeing him sunday at Senses Fail. Oh well, he'll be with Christina anyway. Fucking bullshit.

On the bright side, I've been getting closer with some friends again, like Rachel, Allen, and Brandon. It's nice to actually hang out with them again, makes me happy. I'm glad I can be friends with Brandon and not have people bitch about it. He's such a good person to talk to, it's great. I feel so bad for him because Christina's being such a bitch to him, it's really kinda sad.

I've also been hanging out with Dan and Ryan a lot lately. They're just fun friends to hang out with. Nothing more than that.

But I'm so freaking sick of school. I can't wait for a break, seriously. I really want to skip classes, but with this new attendence thing our school has, it's impossible to not get caught, which sucks ass. But I'll probably end up skipping Chemistry a couple times since it's last period. I'll start to not care even more soon.

Another good thing was that I finally got my permit after about 3 months. Go procrastination! So I've been driving a lot lately and I'm getting my license around mid-February. I'm so excited.

Downside, I'm now grounded. My mom found alcohol in my closet and grounded me for a month. But I'm still allowed to have people over, doesn't make sense. Thank god she didn't find my bowl too, that would have sucked ass. There's so many things coming up too, I wish I wasn't grounded. Hopefully I'll be able to convince her to go to some of them.

Alright I'm done for now. I NEED TO FREAKING PARTY HARDCORE SOON!! AHHH, I'M GOING CRAZY WITH NO ALCOHOL, CIGS, OR WEED.

Thanks for ruining my life.

Sat, 08 Oct 2005 21:13:26 GMT

I fucking hate you Christina. You make me want to beat your head in with a baseball bat. Why can't you just get over the whole thing and at least be civil to me. You don't have to be my friend or anything, but you can at least let me go places that you'll be at. Haven't you ever heard of forgiveness? You don't have to forget, but you can at least forgive. I'm not mean to you so why do you have to constantly bitch at me? I don't uderstand why you're still mad at me, yet you're not mad at Brandon. Seriously, get a fucking life besides trying to ruin mine, because it's working, and it's making me hate you. I never hated you before, but now, you just made it worse. I was supposed to hang out with MY friends tonight at Allen's house, but noooo, you have to be there and so I can't go. We're both there to have fun, so it shouldn't matter if I'm there. As long as we ignore each other, we'll be fine. But I guess you can't handle that. I think you need to become more mature because your immaturity is really starting to piss me off. Whatever, after this, your presence isn't going to stop me from going places. The only reason it's stopping me this time is because I have no ride and Allen doesn't want shit to happen at his house. Which I'm kinda mad at Allen for not saying that I can come instead of Christina, but whatever.

I'll have fun tonight anyway. I'm going to go party in Ellington with my friends there. At least they don't care about people being there that hate me. I hope you all have a fucking great night.

vnaosurtjaemf

Tue, 04 Oct 2005 03:43:33 GMT

I really hate immature bitches. They piss me off so fucking much. Yea, you have no life except to try and make mine miserable and I'm being stupid enough to let it get to me. I really need to learn how to ignore you and your immaturity. You do not know how much I want to take my anger out on you right now. God I could fucking kill you. And not feel bad about it one bit.

And something else made me mad tonight. Yea, you made me feel a 100 times better about everything. And yes, I'm being sarcastic you dumbass. Don't try and make me feel bad about it anymore, I already do and will for the rest of my life so I don't need you to help make me feel worse. Leads me to do stupid things which you bitch about me doing. So maybe you shouldn't make me feel bad. Yea what I did was wrong, and I regret it so much, I didn't even want to do it in the first place, but I did and I don't know why. I feel like I ruined something good, but then again, it probably would have ended soon anyway right? Well I guess we'll have to see what the future brings..

Jess!!! We gotta hang out this weekend and party if you're not busy =]

Ughh.

Tue, 27 Sep 2005 01:16:12 GMT

Alright, why does this always happen? God dammit. So I finally got over him, and started liking someone else. But of course, this new guy has to like one of my friends who might like him also. This freaking sucks. No offense to her or anything, I love her to death, but I really don't see them together, they're so different from each other, and I just think it's weird seeing them together. I was supposed to hang out with him Wednesday, but my mom's being psycho and won't let me. So I doubt I'll have another chance to hang out with him. Ughhhhh, I hate this. So much.

Anyone have any friends they'd like to hook me up with? I'd gladly check them out. I really need to get over this one.

answer please

Sun, 11 Sep 2005 05:22:50 GMT

okay, so I got really bored today and decided to make a new sn. except I made 4 and I don't know which one to choose. please reply with which one you like. thanks.

call me fitz
shotgunweddingx0
goodbye x sky
hello x destiny

plus these that I made a while ago:

eagerxeyesx
grasp our xhands
hopelessxxlovexx
kdizzle94
xris10x

please reply with the one you like. I want a new sn. <33

Sun, 11 Sep 2005 04:15:37 GMT

Well I just realized it's now September 11. And that makes me even sadder. Why does everything have to happen like this?

not in the best mood.

Sun, 11 Sep 2005 04:12:51 GMT

Right now I'm not very happy. I just feel very alone right now. I want to drink all my sorrows away, not that they'll go away, but at least it'd make me feel better for a while.

Last night and tonight I went to the Wapping Fair, and I really wanted to get fucked up. No one brought anything with them there, it was so disappointing. I want to get high so badly, or drunk. But I have nothing. So I took my last percocet. Hopefully that'll work for a little while. And I need some freaking cigarettes. I have money, now I just gotta find someone to buy them for me.

Jess, you're the only one who knows about this journal and that makes me feel better. Because I can say anything and I know you'll understand. We definitely should hang out soon. I haven't seen you since my birthday party and that was 2 months ago. Wayy too long. Maybe this weekend if you're not busy we should hang out. Like friday night. If you want to anyway.

Alright, well I don't know what else to say because I just don't feel like typing anymore.

Ugh. Shit happens. A lot.

Wed, 07 Sep 2005 00:00:22 GMT

Yea so um school sucks major ass this year. So much fucking homework. Which I should be doing right now, but I have no motivation at all.

But, last night was fucking amazing! The Used concert with all the kids who I love so damn much. I've missed you guys and we're definitely doing it again for Senses Fail. Ashley, Sarah, and I are the craziest moshers fo sho =) Haha, love you girls.

Ugh, why was I so damn happy last week and now I feel like I'm going to be depressed again? I fucking hate this so much. Why did I have to fuck up everything? I feel like shit. Well actually lower than shit. I'm sorry I'm a screw up.

I love how I can write in here and no one will read it. Makes me kinda satisfied.

ahhhhh.

Wed, 17 Aug 2005 19:40:51 GMT

So I haven't written in here in a long time.

I got back from Germany. Started hanging out with my favorites again =) Went to Warped Tour the other day and it was freaking amazing! I had so much fun. All the traffic, mud, music, bonfires, beer. Simply amazing.

Finch concert friday, which I'm so excited for. Saturday is Motley Crue and Sum 41 with Ashlee, her Mom, Jordan, and Kristine. Then hopefully The Used concert September 5th. Good shit coming up.

But now I'm so freaking bored because no one's home, or they're busy and it sucks ass. So make plans with me =) I'm fun.

God dammit. I want you. Badly. 38 times.

Wed, 03 Aug 2005 10:09:35 GMT

We got back from Garmisch yesterday. We stopped in Dachau to visit the concentration camp there. It was kinda interesting.

Today we started packing and wrapping up all the breakable stuff, which was almost everything we bought. We leave tomorrow morning on our way back home. I can't wait. But it's going to be a long day. We're leaving here at 6:30am to get to the airport since it's like 3 hours away. Our flight leaves for Madrid around 12ish or something, not sure. I don't know what time our connecting flight is, but we're supposed to land at JFK airport around 7:30pm. Then we have a 3 hour bus ride back to New Haven where our cars are. Then another hour ride home. So I won't be home until 1am or so. Ugh, I'm not looking forward to that.

But I'm wicked excited to be coming home. I get to see my Rachel =)

6 more days..

Wed, 27 Jul 2005 06:46:28 GMT

so we just got back from going up in a hot air balloon. it was awesome! i'd love to do it again. but yea, we had to get up at 430 so now i'm tired and i'm gonna go back to sleep. night kids. <3

Tue, 26 Jul 2005 11:33:12 GMT

yes, so you should email me at fitzie019@yahoo.com to keep me sane. it makes me feel as though i have friends when i get an email. and i've really only gotten one from Derrick. thanks. yea, i'm bored right now because we're all sitting around waiting for my aunt and uncle to come home from a funeral. then we're going to the army base to fly helicopters. well actually they're helicopter stimulators, but they're still really cool. alright, well i got nothing else to say so hope you guys are having fun at home. not that anyone reads this journal because no one knows i have it. oh well, it entertains me.

Mon, 25 Jul 2005 09:14:53 GMT

hey, i finally figured it out. but not really because it still doesn't work at home. i'm on my uncle's computer in germany. and this vacation is pretty fun by the way. i'm legal to drink here so it's awesome. alright, well i'm done for now. maybe i'll figure all this stuff out later.